i am trying to learn to be joyful when im cleaning the toilet, when im wiping the puke from the floor for the fifth time when we are all suffering from that dreaded stomach virus At The Same Time, when a frustrated five year old is in my face telling me exactly what he thinks of a situation, when a three year old wakes the 8 month old Just as she was falling asleep to nap, when i have less than 3 hours of sleep & a full day plus work ahead of me, when trying to figure out our homeschooling rhythm for next fall, when reading books that are dense but for a class, a gift, i have chosen to be a part of, when my hair keeps falling out & with those last 10 pounds of pregnancy weight that seem to be going nowhere (oh how different my body is this time, having had two boys before. ruby's womb-time seems to have changed me so much, physically!)
true joy. not the gritting-you-teeth-holding-your-tongue-fighting-back-tears-of-frustration joy, but joy that all these things are done in service. that None of these things -- my husband, my precious children, my home, my Life -- are mine. they are all God's.
& it is a constant work, a constant practice, a constant learning to let go, to not think for a minute i have a hold of anything.
just a vessel, hopefully a Light.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment