ruby's birth.

i had just gone back to bed after getting up to use the bathroom & get another drink of water. i was a bothered because i *had* to pee again! so, i rolled out of bed again & as soon as i stood up, i realised i didn't have to pee; my water had broke! i did a quiet little happy dance all the way back to the bathroom to check & see if there was mec in the waters or if it was clear, & when it was clear i did another little happy dance. it was 2.30 in the morning on friday, april 23rd, and i was 42 weeks & 5 days pregnant.

i gathered myself a bit & woke matthew up, telling him my water had finally broke. he hopped up & started sweeping the floor. (for some reason i asked him weeks before that when i told him i was in labor it would be awesome if he would sweep the floors!) i called grace, my midwife, to let her know. (she was pregnant too, & ended up having her own little girl five days after i gave birth. the night before, we had discussed a ton of different scenarios, and what we were going to do about them... if she went into labor when she was attending my birth, if she had her baby before i had mine, etc etc...) she did a happy dance too! we talked for a few minutes & i told her i would call her back when things started to pick up.

matthew & i hung out, got some things together for the boys, made coffee, did some dishes... just sort of puttered around the house a bit for a few hours. i sat on the balance ball a lot, & was having contractions that seemed regular, (we haven't *timed* contractions with any of my births), but they weren't too intense. finally though, around 5 am, i decided to call my parents to come & pick up the boys. as soon as they were pulling out of the driveway with the boys, the surges definitely got more intense. i called our doula around 6, and grace again around 6.30.

matthew turned some music on (of course i didn't want the birth mix i had worked on, now!) & i set myself up in the dining room, sitting on the ball & leaning onto a stack of pillows on the table. matthew sat with me, holding my hands, through each contraction. it was really divine, to have a little bit of time to labor with just matthew. we would talk or just look at each other in between the contractions, & it just felt very sacred.

i didn't hear eileen come in, but she put her hands on my back & helped release my hips a little during a contraction. it was great to have her here; she has such a gentle voice & a very mother-earthy-lovely presence about her. she was a little more chatty than i expected, but i knew that my senses were extremely heightened so it didn't really bother me. when grace showed up, she just sat across from me at the table, holding the space & observing while i was working. i was very quiet & wasn't being vocal throughout the contractions this time, even though they seemed
to be just as intense as they were when i was birthing jonah. i was really, really focused on my breathing & praying through each surge. i stood up once for grace to get a listen to ruby, and noticed my legs were shaking. i thought maybe i was in transition but then thought there was no way; i was too lucid & things weren't that intense yet.

around 9 am, i got up to use the restroom & when i came out eileen & grace were putting the kettle on for tea. we all talked for a few minutes about tea & i said i was hungry so matthew gave me a granola bar to munch on. we walked around the house a bit, trying to decide what to listen to, & just chit-chatted for a good twenty minutes. i remember looking at the clock & seeing how light we were all being & thinking that i had at least 3 or 4 more hours to go... & then, at 9.30, i sat back down on the balance ball & the next contraction was much more powerful. i wasn't comfortable sitting so i stood up. grace asked me where i wanted to have ruby & i said the living room (we sleep on the futon there), & so she said it'd probably be a good idea to make our way there. i kind of laughed at her, thinking there was no way i was close to having ruby, i mean i couldn't *feel* her the way i had felt jonah moving down... & things just didn't feel heavy enough. (& we didn't do any cervical checks because i was group B + & didn't want to have any unless grace felt it was necessary). but anyway, i took a step towards the living room & had another intense contraction -- those lovely double peaks with little recovery time -- & with every step another surge came. it took me almost an hour to take 10 steps!

once i reached the bed, i tried sitting on my hands & knees but wasn't comfortable. i leaned over the ball on the bed, but wasn't comfortable with that either. i told grace i wanted to lay down, and eileen sat at my feet & had me put one foot on her shoulder. immediately my body just started pushing like a mad woman, & i started screaming (grace, eileen & matthew all say i wasn't screaming, but just sounding really primal & really serious about birthing ruby. but my voice was hoarse the rest of the day!) in one push i could feel ruby come down & eileen mentioned she was going to support my perineum with some sweet almond oil on a washcloth. grace sat up right beside me. with the next push i felt ruby's head come out, & just then eileen said i had pushed her out to her cheeks. for some reason, this really freaked me out & i closed my eyes & i must have looked upset or scared, because grace very gently told me to open my eyes & to look at her; that ruby was fine & with the next contraction she would be out so to just focus on that & not worry about her. (i had asked grace to keep me present when i was pushing ruby out, because with jonah i was still so torn about the women i knew who had lost their babies during childbirth that i just Wanted Him Out & pushed with the mindset that i needed to get him out so that i knew he was okay... & i wanted to let that go this time & trust God & my body that ruby would be how she was supposed to be, whatever that looked like.) grace's words definitely grounded me & with the next push ruby was here. it was 10.55. she didn't make a sound, just looked around & i just sat there for a few moments talking to her & touching her, asking her to stay in her body, & then i picked her up & brought her to my chest. her cord had been wrapped loosely around her neck once. about 20 minutes later i pushed the placenta out. it had a few very large blood clots in it & a few calcifications. (grace was pretty certain the clots were formed after
i had birthed ruby). after another hour or so matthew clamped & cut the umbilical cord & grace prepared my placenta so i could make placenta smoothies everyday for a few months.after that, she prepared the most wonderful herb bath for me & checked me before i went to soak; no tearing! i had tears with noah & jonah & was shocked that i didn't tear this time. i also had a cervical prolapse with jonah's birth, and this time there was nothing like that.

i took my bath, fell asleep in it for about half an hour, got out & dressed & went back to bed with my new & perfect little girl.



She is more precious than rubies,
and none of the things you desire can compare with her.
Long life is in her right hand;
in her left hand are riches and honor.
Her ways are very pleasant,
and all her paths are peaceful.
She is like a tree of life to those who obtain her,
and everyone who grasps hold of her will be blessed.

proverbs 3:15-18