thankful for our middle of the night amnesty policy, erasing my grumpiness for having to roll my round belly out of bed a few times. i still find myself catching my breath a little, when i hear his voice wake me in a whisper, with a touch on the shoulder. & how we have the most joyful boys in the morning, when we wake them to go take a ride in the dark. they are full of excitement, chattering back in forth in the car about how the man in the moon is following them, coming With them, and that he is yellow. and the stars! look at the stars! and how the frost was so thick as we got close to my parents house that it looked like snow, everything icy & muted, the sunrise hardly seemed real; very sherbety colors, just hanging out behind the icy air. & how i came home to an empty house, just ruby in my belly, & we took a sweet nap together. some thursdays are just for us, to rest, to talk, to figure her way out. & how grateful i am for this time, even if it is once every several days, to just spend time with her & to rest with her. she will be here so soon; everything will change again so soon.
& a snowstorm this weekend, they say. i dream of enough to keep us inside, to snack & play & paint & draw & nap & cuddle & just be.
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